Online dating works for many these days. Around 40% of Americans use online dating. Sometimes we see online dating profile examples that shine. Why can’t everyone have an online dating profile that works? Well, simply put, you can. There are a few things that require tweaking to have a successful online dating profile.
From bad photos, bad attitudes, and everything in between, there are reasons why your dating profile does not work for you. We have some changes to suggest that will help your prospective beaus see you in a better light. Let’s go over the online dating profile examples that are killing your chances of winning the dating game.
- Bad Photo
- Bad Attitude
- Location, Location, Location
- A Poorly Written Profile
- Being Too Picky
- Trying to Be Too Funny or Too Quirky
- Being Too Political or Too Religious (Too Soon)
- Having Unreasonable Expectations
- Talking About Money
- Talking About Your Ex/Kids
1. Bad Photos in Your Online Dating Profile
Think about the first thing you see when you go to an online dating site. You enter your zip code and see other people near you. What do you see? You see their profile picture! Let’s be completely honest here; this is the first thing you are going to see. The next thing you are going to do? Judge their photo. Everyone does it, including you. Don’t try to tell me that you do not judge every single picture that pops up on your screen – you are doing it too.
There is not one dating coach or matchmaker who does not go out and get their clients fresh and professional photos done. So, why don’t you? Get a beautiful picture taken just for your online dating profile. Don’t pull out a dated, blurry photo. And please, do not include other people in your dating profile photo. You want to show off your character by doing so. So, look nice, and make it just you to showcase what a good-looker you know you are.
Don’t overdo it, though. Over half the people online lie on their dating profile. Make sure your profile photo looks reasonably close to the actual real-life you and don’t makeup anything about yourself. Your date will eventually find out if you lied about being a bodybuilder.
2. Bad Attitude
Yes, dating is stressful. Yes, you may get your feelings hurt or have to turn down others. However, you need to look at the bright side. That’s because dating CAN be fun. Besides, shouldn’t finding the love of your life be enjoyable and efficient? Sure, you will meet some losers. You may not be interested in some whatsoever.
That’s where you’re going to need to adjust your attitude. Don’t let the act of dating harden your personality. You want to make the best aspects of what makes you shine through to your dates. So, instead of focusing on the negatives, think of it as a fun exercise in meeting people. You will have stories to take away from each person you encounter while you date. Try your best to stay positive so you can see what happens. Having a desperate attitude will come off as desperate.
Think of it this way: there are 42 million people out there online dating at one time. Sooner or later, you will find someone only relax and let it happen. Like attracts like. If you go into dating with a positive attitude, you will find your match.
3. Location, Location, Location
Being in a bad location or the middle of nowhere is a bummer. Okay, so, a true story; we once had a client who was literally in the middle of nowhere… In a small village north of the Article Circle. Yeah, THAT Arctic Circle. They were upset for a variety of reasons: 1. There was no photo studio near them that we could send them to, and 2. They were having trouble finding people to date, primarily that they weren’t related to.
Unfortunately, if you are in the middle of nowhere and you already know everyone around you, your options are limited. It’s not like someone is hiding under a rock for you to date! The only viable option here is to expand your searches. You have to start looking at the next closest large city to you. It becomes required to travel to meet new people at this point if the pickings are slim in your immediate area. So, don’t fight it. Just do it. Expand your horizons.
4. A Poorly Written Online Dating Profile
Okay, so now you have a rocking profile picture. Let’s just say someone finds a liking to your photo and decides to click on your profile to learn more about you. They most likely will not read the whole thing. Yes, maybe a few paragraphs. They may not study your profile for grammatical mistakes, but they will notice if you are not able to string a few sentences together coherently. It could make you or break you. And, even if you are not an idiot, and improperly written dating profile will make you look like an idiot.
There are quite a few written online dating profile examples available to look at online. Do some comparison checking before you write yours. Then, have a buddy proofread yours for you before you post yours.
Always remember that dating coaches and matchmakers spend the majority of their time working with clients on their written profiles. Though, you do not want to be too controversial. No, not try to be someone who you are not. Don’t lie. Lying will come back to bite you. Be specific about who you are, what your likes are, and what kind of person you are looking for in general. Speaking of which, this leads us to the next point.
5. Being Too Picky in Your Dating Profile
Just remember that nobody is perfect. That does not mean you should compromise entirely just to have a companion around you. You also need to remember that someone having 100 percent of your boxes checked at being the ideal person to date is (most likely) not going to happen. You have a balance of compromise and finding your perfect mate. Some deal-breakers are reasonable. However, if you are going to list the 15 things you are looking for in a partner, you need to have 15 equal attributes that will attract your future partner to you as well. Remember, relationships are “give and take.” They’re not all about the “take.”
6. Trying to Be Too Funny or Too Quirky
When nervous, many people have the habit of working too hard to be funny or exaggerating on how interesting they are. Please do your best to calm that impulse. That is unless you are a comedian or stand up comic in real life. Try to be more low key and make sure you don’t overtly try to be the “funny guy” or focus on being the entertainment on your date. First, find out for yourself if your partner is exciting or attractive to you. It’s hard to feel out your date if you are focusing on trying to entertain them the entire time.
7. Being Too Political or Too Religious (Too Soon)
There are many out there with some strong opinions about religion or politics. However, oversharing your views on either too soon is a real turn off. Though, if your religious and political beliefs are deal breakers, you might want to try to steer the conversation away from these topics as you get to know your potential partner. The best online dating profile examples tend to showcase a lighter and more approachable style than one that is highly opinionated and might be a little too forceful. There is no reason why you need to scare someone off before they’ve even met you. This is all about increasing your opportunities to meet new people and explore possible relationships. Your views are important and we are not suggesting that you abandon them to date just anybody, however, it doesn’t hurt to slow down and give a chance to know somebody if there is a physical attraction.
Try to keep everything on the light side. Your goal here is to find out if there is a mutual attraction. Diving into a deeply religious or political debate right off the bat is a real mood killer. Remember, you can be patient. There is time, later on, to discuss your views once you have begun to get to know them better. We think it’s better to save for a third or fourth date.
8. Having Unreasonable Expectations
Unreasonable expectations go hand in hand with being too picky. Sure, you should have some reasonable expectations for dating and your life. Age and attractiveness are usually what expectations tend to revolve around. Sorry, but it’s true. Sure, we all wish that we could be dating supermodels. Though, give yourself a hard look in the mirror. Would you want to date a model-like person? Is that really what you want? Do you have the qualities they’d be interested in? Do you have the conditions they’d be interested in dating? It’s a waste of your online dating effort to wait around for unattainable dates. What will make you much happier, in the long run, will be being with someone you are genuinely compatible with. Chasing a fantasy is not reasonable.
9. Talking About Money
Talking about money goes hand in hand with being too political or too religious. Discussing money early on when you meet someone or early in the relationship sends up all kinds of red flags. Fact: many dating scam artists will broach the subject of money early on in the dating process.
Don’t give the impression you are a scammer and run from anyone who might give off that impression, too. Unless otherwise specified, try your best to plan on paying your way for the first couple of dates. You want to be establishing clear boundaries. Don’t worry, as you keep dating; the money issue will usually disappear anyway.
10. Talking About Your Ex/Kids
Nothing takes the romance away like talking about an ex or your kids right away. If you’re following these online dating profile examples, you know that bitching and complaining about either will bring up many red flags for your potential romantic interest. Remember to keep the past in the past. What happens there stays there and does not need to be rehashed with a new person. We see dates that commiserate about their past relationships mean that they are not ready to date you. They are not over their last relationships in most cases.
Also, if you have kids, that is wonderful. The first few dates, however, should be more of a focus on you and what you are looking for in a relationship. No, that does not mean you have to hide the fact that you have kids. Just don’t make your kids the focus of your meetup. You need to remember to put yourself first sometimes. Though I’m sure, your kids are in safe hands while you are occasionally working on beginning a healthy relationship.
Following these online dating profile examples can help you be a more successful online dater. Look, we know it may be easy to forget about or ignore these online dating profile mistakes. There are the occasional slip-ups, and it’s not that easy to change. However, making some slight changes to your dating approach will prove to be fruitful in the long-run. Remember to put your best foot forward and to be authentically you by letting your best attributes shine. We know that your dating profile habits will change with just a few adjustments. Remember this is all about increasing your opportunities to meet new people and explore possible relationships by following these online dating profile examples. Good luck!
About the Author:
Claire Bahn has over 15 years of working as a personal branding expert helping clients build authority and influence through their online profiles and social media accounts.
Her background includes branding, public relations, Social Media and marketing, as well as, entrepreneurship. She has a passion to help executives, entrepreneurs and influencers strategize and create their best personal brand.
She is currently the CEO and Co-founder of Online Profile Pros and Stratus Branding. Ms. Bahn recognizes that first impressions are made online and the fastest way to achieving your goals is by taking command of your personal brand through your online profiles and social media. She started Online Profile Pros and Stratus Branding to help individuals create, maintain and protect their personal brands so that they achieve the authority, influence and trust the need to succeed at online dating or their job search.
She’s been featured in numerous publications and news outlets including Forbes and Entrepreneur magazines.
Ms. Bahn is a former model and actress, appearing in national ad campaigns for major retailers. An avid fashion/lifestyle blogger she’s a recognized influencer. Ms. Bahn holds a BA from the University of Texas at Austin and currently lives in the Hollywood Hills in Los Angeles, CA with her 2 red miniature pinchers, Beau and Trixie.