Men who find themselves suddenly single often find themselves floundering when they start to wade back into the dating pool. Divorce, the disintegration of a committed relationship, the death of a partner or the desire to get out of a bad relationship and try again can leave a man churning with emotions he can’t deal with, shatter his self-confidence, undermine his ability to trust, and shake his faith in love. The forced lifestyle changes that generally accompany relationship upheaval intensify a man’s sense of loss and make it that much harder for him to cope with relationship change and move forward with his life.
Women, of course, experience the same problems as men and work through the same feelings when a relationship ends, but the female sex is generally more adept at coping with the emotional wreckage that follows the end of a relationship. Women also are more likely to have developed strong support networks and are able to rely on friends to help them through a romantic crisis. Most men are wired differently and tend to bottle up their angst and regret. Unfortunately, all that pent up emotion is likely to bubble out at the most inopportune moments – like when you’re on a date with someone new.
Watching their male friends struggle to jump back into the dating scene after a long absence led Clodaugh Higgins and Sarah Rutherford to write The Single Man’s Manual – A Guide for Men Who Are Suddenly Single Again, soon to be a new TV show. Interviewing scores of suddenly single men and plumbing their own dating experiences with recently single men, the authors have created what they call a relationship GPS to guide men through the morass of failed relationships, over the pitfalls of online dating, past the hurdles of first dates and back onto the dating scene.
If you’re a suddenly single guy, The Single Man’s Manual is worth a look. The authors are not unsympathetic but the emphasis is on taking a hard look at yourself; fixing what needs to be fixed; regaining dating confidence and moving forward with your life.