• Online dating mistakes

    9 Worst Mistakes Online Daters Make

    The stigma of online dating has changed since the early 2000s. Today, according to a Pew Research poll, 59%+ people feel online dating is a good way to meet people.

    Unfortunately, we aren’t all that great with communicating our emotions online.

    We’ve all made online dating mistakes. We either:

    • Aren’t able to convey the sarcasm
    • Seem overly attached
    • Can be aggressive or too standoffish

    Plus the whole element of people “catfishing” others.

    But let’s say things start well:

    • You’re just getting started and have a nice profile
    • You’ve found someone you’re interested in and they feel it back
    • You’re keeping up with the conversation but there isn’t a “click”

    There are a lot of online dating mistakes that can happen during those early periods, during, and after you’ve met the individual. This article will help you identify those online dating mistakes and how to avoid (fix) them.

    The Nine Most Common Online Dating Mistakes

    Online dating is hit and miss.

    Some have great success while others fall flat. The least you can do is to learn from your online dating mistakes:

    #1: Lazy Openers

    Some people can make a great impression with very little to say based on their looks or a very attractive profile.

    But, the majority of us need to put in the extra effort when making the first contact.

    The top of the online dating mistakes has to be: lazy openers.

    This happens when you go with the typical “Hey”, “How are you?”, or whatever other generalized, canned opener. It’ll get you nowhere because it doesn’t start a dialog (plus it comes across as lazy).

    What to do: Dig into their profile and open with a question about one of their major interests which you happen to share. It’ll start a casual conversation which can later become something more.

    #2: Lackluster Photos

    Have you ever cross a profile which had pictures of the person doing something you hate (maybe smoking?), outdated (from years ago), or doesn’t show their angles?

    That’s the easiest online dating mistakes you can make.

    There’s no reason not to have a few good pictures on your profile considering you probably have a Facebook profile to pull them from and the fact you have a phone or camera to take new ones.

    What to do: Put your best picture forward. Upload the high-quality photos showing your activities and show off who you are. People want to see someone having fun and get an idea of their body (since physical attraction is a major thing).

    #3: Boring (Empty) Profile

    Some people have terrible profiles.

    They’re barely filled out or if they are then there’s not much to it for others to ask questions and get to know them.

    You need to take the time to fill in the information and answer surveys/quizzes.

    What to do: Have your friend read your profile and get a real assessment of how well it represents you. Get a few girl or guy friends to help out, too! Write who you are — don’t hold back and don’t be a fake — because eventually, you’ll find out this stuff about each other anyway.

    #4: Skimming Profiles

    Online dating mistakes stem from being too “thirsty” and not taking the time to understand the person — that’s the purpose of the profile.

    You need to be reading the profiles so you can create a conversation and know whether you two are a match.

    What to do: Go for less. Remember quality over quantity. Not only will you increase your response rate but you’ll also have better conversations that help you with the whole online dating thing in the long-run.

    #5: Chasing Everything

    Don’t be the person that blasts every profile with a blanket opener in hopes that it sticks.

    Sure, sometimes this may get a response or two but you’re spending double the amount of time on people that may be responding based on courtesy — you’re probably not creating a genuine connection.

    • Take time to prune through the profiles
    • Learn something about them
    • Create a good opener
    • Keep the conversation going
    • Cut out the ones that aren’t going anywhere

    What to do: Get to know the type of person you want, contact those types, and learn from your mistakes from previous interactions. Don’t go crazy contacting everyone otherwise you’ll waste your time (and theirs).

    #6: Leading On and On

    You need to close.

    Frequently, online dating mistakes amount to getting chatty leading it on and on to the point that if you were to meet — there isn’t much to talk about.

    This seems to happen after 3 days in many situations.

    You burn through all the excitement to the point there really isn’t much of a drive to meet up because now each person is acting on emotion and more on the logical side.

    The point of online dating is to do that: go on a date and get to know each other.

    What to do: Going on, for days or weeks, kills the opportunity. It’s better to try early on rather than seeing it fizzle out from boredom. Try to do something more than talking within the first few days after the initial contact.

    #7: Being Too Aggressive

    A big turn off and online dating mistake is being too aggressive and pushing the person to share personal information or meet up well before they’re comfortable with you.

    You have to take things slow (but not too slow — as explained above).

    What to do: Give it a few days of back-and-forth, really exploring interests, and then make a move versus trying to just “hook up” the same day you’re getting in contact else you’ll alienate them and send them packing.

    #8: Getting Creepy

    There’s not much to say here other than this: don’t be that person that’s creepy with the whole online thing.

    What to do: Don’t stalk them or berate them if they shut you down. And this isn’t just for men, women do it too.

    #9: Connecting Too Quickly

    Things are hitting off and you want to meet each other. Great!

    One of the online dating mistakes you may make is trying to connect through social profiles and exchanging phone numbers too quickly. Sure, they’d like to meet but they may not want to become Facebook friends and divulge too much information all at once.

    Exchanging FB profiles too quickly cuts out a lot of the opportunities to explore and learn things about the person. Plus, it can come across as aggressive or creepy if you’re suddenly liking and commenting on past social shares.

    What to do: Exchange numbers but do it so you’re able to meet up but wait until after the first date/outing to see if you want to get into a social exchange.

    Your Turn

    Which sort of online dating mistakes have you made? Share your experiences and ways to avoid the problems with a comment!

Claire Bahn


Claire Bahn is the CEO and Co-Founder of Online Profile Pros (OPP). She founded OPP to help individuals build, maintain and protect their personal brand to help them get the jobs, promotions and dates they desire. She has 15 years experience in branding, public relations and event marketing at start-ups as well as large Fortune 500 companies like Rueters and SAP. Claire has been featured in Forbes, Entrepreneur magazines among others. Online Profile Pros helps executives, entrepreneurs & influencers strategize and create their best personal brand.


Leave a comment

If you want to share your opinion, leave a comment.

You may use these HTML tags and attributes:

<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong> 

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.