To be a successful online dater you need to follow a set of proven online dating profile examples and develop a slightly different attitude toward dating to master the finer points of online dating strategy and etiquette
How to Date Like a Pro
Meeting someone on an online dating site is a little different than meeting someone at a party or going on a blind date. When you meet someone in person, feedback from verbal cues and body language help you figure out whether you’re rounding home base or striking out. If you pay attention to your date’s subliminal cues, you can often make corrections to your approach and stay in the game. When you’re dating online, you lose those valuable visual cues which makes it harder – but not impossible — to develop a winning game plan.
To be a successful online dater you need to take advantage of some proven online dating profile examples and strategies to get the most out of the experience.
Step 1: Complete Your Online Dating Profile 100%
Start with a completed profile! This sounds crazy but you’d be surprised at the number of people who have a partially filled out profile and still expect to be successful online dater. Think about the image you use to portray yourself. Your primary online dating profile photo is the key to everything. If they don’t like your photo they won’t bother to read your profile and learn more about you. This is just a hard and fast truth. Many online dating platforms even block profiles without a primary profile photo from even showing up in search results so you’re wasting your time and money if you don’t have a great profile photo.
Step 2: No Selfies
Speaking of profile photos don’t be lame and use a selfie! There are a ton of studies that talk about how a selfie portrays you to others. It might have been cute a few years ago but that fad has passed. Your online dating profile photo is the first impression most people have of you. What do you want them to see? Not a half ass photo, that’s for sure. Your selfie sends the wrong message every time. A selfies says you’re too lazy to get even a friend to shoot a couple of photos of you..or worse you don’t even have any friends that would help you out. At the very least it says that the whole online dating thing and trying to find a relationship is really not all that important to you and you couldn’t be bothered. Is that really teh message you want to send?
Step 3: The Perfect Dating Profile Photos
Make sure your primary photo is just you from mid chest to just above your head. Make it clear and light. An outdoors photo in a lifestyle setting is usually the best and gets the most responses. Think about what you’re wearing. Even if you tend to be more casual in nature, sometimes “casual” comes off as sloppy. Hence, you might think about spiffing it up a bit and dress a little more like you’re going on a first date.
If you have been on an online dating site for a while and do not like the kinds of responses you are getting, it may be time to change your online dating profile so you can get that first date. You may be able to quickly spot the people who aren’t taking it very seriously, but if you find that you are getting bland responses even from people who seem genuine, it may be time to re-examine your profile.
Step 4: Be Specific
For a perfect online dating profile example make sure you’re clear about your likes and dislikes. Make it clear what you are looking for so you don’t waste anyone’s time especially yours. Let’s be honest, we all have a “type” we’re attracted to whether its looks, attitude or behavior. It’s completely fair to make that known.
Think of your profile as the beginning of a conversation. The old rule of “show, don’t tell” works great when you are talking to someone in person and it really works in a dating profile. If you write, “I really like animals” a fellow online dater may ask what animals you like or they may just absorb that fact but it won’t spark enough interest to inspire someone to contact you. But if you write about volunteering at an animal shelter or about how you train seeing-eye dogs, that will give them a fuller picture of who you are.
Step 5: Avoid Gripes
There is no need to pretend to be more cheerful than you are, but if your profile includes a number of your pet peeves and turnoffs, you may not get the best responses. When someone scans a dating profile, they are looking for ways to connect–a lot of negativity may turn someone away because they don’t have enough information about what you do like.
Many people add lines about how they ‘don’t want to play games.’ This is a legitimate desire, yet what they don’t realize is that it makes them seem wounded. Also, whether it is true of them or not, most people do not think of themselves as someone who ‘plays games’ so that disclaimer will not save you from being hurt.
Step 6: Dating Etiquette
A little nod to dating etiquette. Here’s a little hard truth to go along with that. Not everyone is so honest on their profiles. In fact some people might be attracted to you even though your profile clearly states what you’re interested in and they know they don’t fit. They usually think that they can convince you to change your mind. Since this isn’t gonna happen it is fair to simply ignore these requests or offers to connect. There is no reason to engage with these individuals, as it’s not going to work out well for either of you.
Once you follow these online dating examples and have created the perfect dating profile for you. It’s important to get it working for you. You might consider adding the profile to a number of different sites to maximize your dating strategy.
How to get the Most Out of your Online Dating Profile
It’s best to develop a slightly different attitude toward dating and master the finer points of online dating etiquette. If you want to connect with someone you discover on an online dating site and move from ‘Hello’ to ‘Let’s Meet,’ follow these online dating tips:
- Jump in with both feet. Online dating is a numbers game. The more people you contact, the higher your response rate. If you send out 10 contact requests a day, you should start seeing some action before the end of the week. Don’t agonize over what your chances are when the online profile of a hot chick or hunky guy catches your eye. Go ahead and fire off a contact request. Who knows? You could be exactly what they’re looking for.
- Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Online dating takes your ego out of the equation. If you overreach and get shot down, no one is going to see you crash and burn; so go for it. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
- Don’t act like a fool. Not everyone you contact will decide to contact you. If you don’t get a response, no matter how interested you are in the person, DO NOT pester them with another contact request. When someone doesn’t respond you have to get over it and move on. Be realistic, you haven’t even met the person. There’s no emotional investment. Stop beating a dead horse. There are thousands of other daters online.
Bonus Section 1: Changing Your Mindset
Online dating success is mostly a matter of perseverance and a really good Dating Profile. With millions of people looking for love online, your perfect match is out there; you just have to find each other. Too many online daters get frustrated and quit when the love of their life may be waiting just around the corner. You can’t expect to send out a couple of contact requests and make an immediate connection. It doesn’t work that way.
As we mentioned online dating is a numbers game. The more contacts you make, the more likely you are to find your special someone. When that happens, you don’t want to get tripped up by online dating etiquette and blow it. Follow these online dating tips and those in our previous post) and online dating success will be yours!
- Stay tuned in. Login to your online dating site 3 or 4 times a day to keep your profile active. You’ll get more contact responses if people think you’re currently logged in.
- Guard your privacy. In the early stages of a relationship, it’s smart to limit contact. Don’t share emails and other contact information until you’re comfortable with the relationship.
- Know when to bail. Online dating allows you to judge someone’s relationship potential without making a huge emotional investment. If you don’t feel the person is right for you, bail out. Be courteous and tell the person you’re going to stop contact, but you don’t need to go into details. If the person can’t take no for an answer, put a block on them.
- Take it slow. Take your time getting to know each other before you propose a real date. Pushing for a date too soon makes you seem desperate. Exchange a few emails, spend time chatting online, become Facebook friends, share your daily experiences by trading Tweets, schedule cell phone dates. I usually recommend a 5-3-2 strategy: 5 chats, 3 emails and 2 phone calls before you ask to meet in person. Don’t rush; enjoy the process of revealing yourselves to each other. By the time you’re ready to ask for a date, you’ll already be friends and you’ll both be looking forward to spending time together.
- Watch for the “Danger Signs”! If that new person you just connected with immediately demands to be taken to dinner or other expensive activities (the theater, clubs concerts or events) chances are they are just using you. Unfortunately a cottage industry has developed that I call “Online dating for fun and profit”. Both sexes are guilty of this practice but a quick anecdote to make things clear….I have a friend that got into online dating early on and discovered that with a little cajoling she could get her new found online dates to take her to the most expensive restaurants in New York City. Eventually she was going out on dates 4-5 times a week and always ordered enough food to make sure she had leftovers for tomorrow’s lunch. Within 18 months she had saved enough money on food expenses alone to buy a car and pay her New York rent…she also gained 10 LBs but she was laughing all the way to the bank. If your new found friend can not understand why you want to take it slow and maybe meet for coffee or even drinks a few times before something more involved like dinner then its time to move on to the next potential date and save yourself a lot of time and money.
Ok , so now you’ve followed my advice and Dating Profile Examples to create the right profile for Match.com, eHarmony.com or Zoosk.com etc etc. So now what do you do?
Date texting, not sexting, doesn’t come naturally to most men. Guys seem to be at a loss when it comes to date texting etiquette. Most men feel like they’re fumbling the ball when they text a new online date. Leaning how to text women successfully isn’t rocket science, but it does take a little finesse.
Today we offer more tips on how men can look better online by honing their texting skills:
- Skip the greeting. Texting “Hi. What’s up?” is lame and more likely to provoke a “delete” than a response. Skip greetings; they’re time-wasters. If you want her to respond to your text, text something interesting, observational or quirky that piques her curiosity or reveals something about your personality. Texting is flirting for online daters, so keep your comments fun and light.
“Tried that new sushi place for lunch; you’d love it!”
“Saw the craziest sign on the way to work today.”
- Dot your Ts. Good grammar and spelling is important. Likewise, use complete words, not text speak. This isn’t high school. You have to create a sophisticated image if you want to attract sophisticated women.
- Keep it clean. Most women don’t respond well to profanity. If you’re trying to come off as a class act, swearing undercuts your image. OMG and WTF are the exceptions, but use them judiciously.
- Keep her wanting more. Keep your texts short and sweet (easy to do when you’re limited to 160 characters) and, most importantly, infrequent. Never bombard a woman with multiple daily texts. If you come on too strong, you’ll seem needy or aggressive. Too much too soon makes most women uncomfortable and can scare them away. Text only when you have something relevant to share and limit texts to a 2 or 3 a week at the beginning of a relationship.
So there you have it the tip for the perfect online dating profile examples and a new mindset for you to get the most out of online dating.
About the Author:
Claire Bahn has over 15 years working as a personal branding expert helping clients build authority and influence through their online profiles and social media accounts.
Her background includes branding, public relations, Social Media and marketing, as well as, entrepreneurship. She has a passion to help executives, entrepreneurs and influencers strategize and create their best personal brand.
She is currently the CEO and Co-founder of Online Profile Pros and Stratus Branding. Ms. Bahn recognizes that first impressions are made online and the fastest way to achieving your goals is by taking command of your personal brand through your online profiles and social media. She started Online Profile Pros and Stratus Branding to help individuals create, maintain and protect their personal brands so that they achieve the authority, influence and trust the need to succeed at online dating or their job search.
She’s been featured in numerous publications and news outlets including Forbes and Entrepreneur magazines.
Ms. Bahn is a former model and actress, appearing in national ad campaigns for major retailers. An avid fashion / lifestyle blogger she’s a recognized influencer. Ms. Bahn holds a BA from University of Texas at Austin, and currently lives in the Hollywood Hills in Los Angeles, CA with her 2 red miniature pinchers, Beau and Trixie.