Do you know the best questions to ask a girl? You want to know everything about her, but some inquiries might be off-limits. Here are the top five questions to ask a girl you want to date, plus five questions to avoid at all costs.
You finally figured out the dating apps, uploaded some fresh photos, and received a few matches. Now what? You’re likely a little excited and pretty scared.
“There is more to finding love than swiping right and saying hello.”
Online dating can be tricky, but in-person meetings aren’t any easier. I have countless stories and experiences where I or my date said the wrong things. Many embarrassing questions were asked, and some otherwise hopeful matches ended abruptly and awkwardly.
The “getting to know you” stage should be fun and exciting, not nerve-wracking and stressful. Your authentic self is essential, as is learning about the other person. The right questions could lead to a healthy romance if they’re genuinely interested in dating you.
After countless conversations with my single friends, I’ve put together a short list of questions to ask a girl. I’ve also included some topics to avoid at all costs, plus tips on how to carry a serious conversation. Learn more about the girl of your dreams without sounding like a creep. Let’s get started.
Table of Contents
3 Topics to Avoid at All Costs
#2. Are All Your Friends This Pretty?
Other Questions to Avoid Asking a Girl
How to Ask a Girl Questions
Knowing the best questions to ask a girl is challenging, especially since no two personalities are identical. You want to learn as much as possible about your date, but you don’t want to offend anyone. Chatting with a girl is also a waste of time if you’re unwilling to get personal and do your homework.
On the other hand, you don’t want the girl to feel like she’s in a high-pressure job interview. There’s nothing sexy about auditioning for a spot in someone’s private life. Meanwhile,
“The casual “how was your day” texts aren’t enough to encourage a connection.”
Discover the best questions to ask a girl, and then use these strategies to make the conversation more engaging:
- Consider the Context – It might not be the best time or place to ask specific questions. Be sensitive about your surroundings and pay attention to subtle social cues.
- Wait Your Turn – Never interrupt your date to say something or ask a follow-up question. Let the girl finish speaking before moving on to another topic.
- Respond with Compassion – Don’t trail off or stare at your date with a glazed-over look. Listen to what she’s saying and provide responses that prove it.
- Try to Relate – Let her know you understand and empathize with her answers by accepting them with an open mind. Then share a similar story if you have one.
Learning the best questions to ask a girl is helpful, but you can still botch the date if you ignore these tips. Pick out the most intuitive inquiries, dress for success, and show up confidently, but never get a call-back because you approached the Q&A incorrectly. Instead, use these techniques to solidify your swag.
DID YOU KNOW: You can get away with minor fumbles if you’re transparent and authentic.
Five Questions to Ask a Girl
Figuring out which questions to ask a girl can be tricky.
“You don’t want to come off as too pushy, but you want to know as much as possible about your potential mate.”
How do you bring up specific topics without looking like a creep? Are there any off-limits subjects, and can you push the boundaries a little? It’s best to stay within some simple parameters.
You want to err on the side of caution but also stand out from the other people showing interest in her. It’s a delicate balance, and you might need some guidelines. These five questions to ask a girl can help set the conversation in the right direction:
#1. Ask Her Why
You can start a deep conversation with basic questions about where she’s from or what she does for a living. However, you must show genuine interest in who she is as a person. Dig into her reasons for doing things by asking why it’s important to her. Find out when she knew it was the perfect path for her. Then listen closely to her answer.
Her response will demonstrate her level of passion for her career and pastimes. It will also reveal how she prioritizes her life and provide insights into her habits and decision-making process. Talking about her whys can create back-and-forth mutual questions if she’s equally interested in you.
#2. Ask for a Fun Fact
This girl is likely full of thrilling stories and anecdotes about her upbringing and life experiences. She might also be willing to share some of the details if you ask the right questions. We all love talking about ourselves, but speaking to someone playful and enthusiastic makes it even better.
See if she’ll pony up a fun fact about herself. It can focus on her background, interests, pet peeves, free time, relationship goals, or whatever else she deems essential. This conversation will help you discover her values and determine whether she’s confident, open, and honest.
#3. Ask About Her Goals
All girls have goals, and you want her nurturing a relationship to be one of them. Still, you can’t get close to her heart if you don’t know which direction it faces. Inquire about her personal, professional, and relationship goals to determine if there’s a meeting of the minds (and hearts). Start by finding out what she’s looking for in a partner.
Not everyone is searching for a long-term commitment or monogamous relationship. You must ensure you’re on the same page as the girl you’re chatting or else the conversation will end in heartbreak. Save yourself some trouble by asking about her objectives and expectations for online dating.
#4. Ask for Opinions
One of the best questions to ask a girl is one that requires giving her opinion.
“Requesting someone’s input demonstrates respect for their point of view.”
It also shows you’re interested in more than her looks. Discover her likes, dislikes, and tastes to measure compatibility and keep the conversation flowing.
Girls know more than fashion and celebrity gossip, so don’t be afraid to bring up complex or controversial topics. Keep the subject matter appropriate and the chat peaceful by eliminating judgments until you hear the entire response. Then ask if she’d like to hear your take in return.
#5. Ask Her Out
This might be one of the most obvious questions to ask a girl, but some people forget that she’s waiting for an invitation. You don’t want to miss a golden opportunity by assuming she knows you want to go out. Ask her to share her schedule, and then try to be as accommodating as possible. Never suggest she make hanging out with you a priority in the beginning.
Consistent texts or calls show she’s interested in going out with you. She’ll likely say yes to your request if she hasn’t ghosted you or thrown you in the friend zone. Go a step further with a suggested plan to show initiative and confidence. You say she’s a catch, so catch her before someone else does.
Approach Like a Pro
You only get one chance to make a first impression. Unfortunately, online dating can make capturing a girl’s attention more challenging than in person. However, you also get second chances to say or ask things correctly before pressing “send.” Approach a girl like you know what you’re up against, and she’ll appreciate the respect.
“If you choose the best questions to ask a girl online, you could sign off the dating apps with the love of your life.”
A casual and thoughtless “hello,” “what’s up,” or “you’re so beautiful” won’t cut it with a desirable woman. She probably has an inbox full of messages like those already. Begin the relationship with a statement you can be proud of later, or start with a thought-provoking question to show your intelligence.
Most girls are attracted to intelligent people who share their values and pursuits. Get on her good side by reading her profile to determine common interests. Then structure your private Q&A session around specific details to demonstrate you pay attention.
3 Topics to Avoid at All Costs
Picking the perfect questions to ask a girl is only half the battle. You must also learn what NOT to ask. Inquiring about the wrong topics or asking questions at the wrong time can be disastrous. She’ll be looking for red flags like you are, so don’t play with fire.
Untouchable subjects generally include standard remarks about age, race, and salary. However, online dating requires you to discover each other’s personal information with unique methods. Poor images and profiles can make that impossible. Still, never ask these questions unless you want to be immediately rejected:
#1. Why Are You Still Single?
The short answer to this question is likely because she’s tired of dating people who don’t realize her worth. Nothing says you’re also blind like asking this question. The girl is probably still single due to waiting for the right person. She doesn’t have time for partners who disregard, disrespect, or disappoint.
Her singleness is your advantage, so don’t blow your chances. Avoid saying things like, “You’re so gorgeous. I can’t believe you don’t have a boyfriend.” That’s a backhanded compliment, and she’ll notice. It also assumes she has low standards and must fall in love with anyone who finds her attractive instead of waiting for her prince charming.
#2. Are All Your Friends This Pretty?
This is a total creep question, and you should never ask it. She could be the most gorgeous person you’ve ever seen, with several beautiful friends. It doesn’t matter. Avoid saying this at all costs, or she’ll likely assume you’re a womanizing cheater.
Good-looking women typically flock together, so there’s a good chance many of her friends are also pretty. However, she doesn’t want to start the conversation by comparing herself to other females. She certainly doesn’t want to be the topic of your mental fantasies or lusty lottery.
#3. Do You Cook and Clean?
She’s alive, so she eats. She’s attractive, so she cleans. What more do you need to know? Throw those gender stereotypes out the window because modern women aren’t on board. She could ask you the same questions, but it wouldn’t tell her anything about your character. Questioning her cooking and cleaning skills suggests you don’t care about her character as much as her domestic competence.
“Shoot your shot without shooting yourself in the foot.”
She’s already willing to entertain a conversation with you. The rest depends on whether you use the right approach and ask the right questions.
Other Questions to Avoid Asking a Girl
Still looking for the best questions to ask a girl? You know which topics to target and avoid. Here are some other subjects you can also forget about:
- Weight – How much do you weigh?
- Body features – Are those real?
- Sex life – How do you like it?
- Past lovers – How many have there been?
- Guy friends – Do you have several male acquaintances?
Many of those questions will elicit a negative response and could change the trajectory of your conversation. Proceed with caution if you ask questions regarding them.
The best questions to ask a girl should focus on her personality and relationship goals. You shouldn’t dig into why she’s still single or inquire about her romantic past. Just because she’s on the market doesn’t mean she’s willing to settle.
Get to know your date on a personal but appropriate level. Avoid saying the wrong things or bringing up unsavory topics. You can turn a casual conversation into a hot and steamy connection with the right approach.