• how to write an online dating profile

    How to Write an Online Dating Profile That’s Backed by Science

    Not getting the results you hoped for from your dating sites? Maybe the problem isn’t you, it’s the profile you’ve written.

    There’s an easy fix to that. We can show you how to write an online dating profile that’s backed by science.

    Over 41 million Americans have used online dating services to find a soul mate. And many claim that it’s worked wonders for their love lives.

    This is how to write an online dating profile that gets results.

    How to Write an Online Dating Profile

    Filling out your online dating profile certainly isn’t the best part of the process. Many people struggle to write about themselves, especially with the added pressure of finding “the one”.

    It’s hard to know what to write about let alone how to write it.

    You want to sound confident, but not self-absorbed. You stress over your profile picture. So forth and so on.

    It can be pretty stressful for even the most confident people.

    Many find that using science-backed research and facts to help write your profile can relieve a lot of the anxieties and uncertainties you might be feeling.

    So today, we’re going to do just that. Let’s use science to learn how to write an online dating profile.

    Your Bio

    Let’s start with your bio or the “About Me” section of your profile.

    Khan and Chaudry (researchers who studied almost 4,000 relevant studies on the evidence-based approach to dating) suggest using a 70:30 ratio in your bio section.

    Instead of writing a couple paragraphs reminiscent of your resume, try using 30% of your bio space to talk about what you’re looking for in a partner.

    Would you like to meet someone who’s serious about fitness? Or maybe you’re looking for an avid traveler? Talk about characteristics you would like to share with you ideal match.

    The other 70% should be about yourself, your hobbies, and your accomplishments.

    Studies show that women who are actively seeking a partner respond positively to traits like braveness, courage, and risk-taking.

    Meanwhile, men who are actively seeking a relationship tend to respond positively to partners who portray altruism and kindness.

    Remember to keep your bio fairly short. Of course, use full sentences and correct grammar. But don’t write a novel. This isn’t a literary competition.

    Lastly, a common mistake when writing online dating profiles is to try and sound funny. This is extremely hard to do and usually, comes across on the other end as flat and underwhelming.

    So don’t try to sound funny, show it. I know, easier said than done. Try using your profile picture for that one.

    Your Profile Picture

    In teaching you how to write an online dating profile, we really can’t leave out the profile picture.

    This part catches many people as a point of tension. You don’t want to look too serious, or goofy either. Maybe you’re unsure if you should smile or not, or wear sunglasses.

    It’s no surprise that a lot of people joining online dating sites stress over their profile picture.

    It’s also no shocker that science shows that the picture on your dating profile has a major impact on the amount and quality of responses you’ll get.

    Mainly, you want to show light-heartedness and good humor. That is of course if you are light-hearted and have a good sense of humor.

    How do you do this?

    Choose a picture of yourself with a clear “Duchenne smile”. The Duchenne smile is a real smile. Not fake or posed.

    Research shows that a true Duchenne smile is characterized by raised corners of the mouth and raised cheekbones.

    People tend to smile back and experience good feelings when they encounter a genuine smile, even in photos.

    Of course, never hide your true self by choosing an old or outdated profile picture. The goal is to attract a mate online and keep them interested when you meet in person.

    Don’t scare someone away by setting up their expectations with a photo 20 years old and 50-or-so pounds ago.

    Other profile picture tips backed by science:

    • Slightly tilt your head if you want to seem a bit mysterious or playful.
    • Post a group shot with friends (especially if you’re in the middle).
    • Use pictures of yourself making physical contact with a friend such as touching their arm.
    • If you’re a man looking for a woman, share pictures of you with female friends smiling in your direction. Studies show that it creates a sense of competition and desirability.

    If you’re still worried about your profile picture, you can always hire a professional.

    Your Username

    You might be surprised to learn that usernames have a direct impact on your first impression to possible acquaintances and might affect whether or not you get a message.

    As it turns out, some online dating sites will show results to a user in alphabetical order. So, it might be beneficial for you to start your username with a letter high in the beginning of the alphabet.

    Letters A through M can sometimes experience better luck attracting profile views and date requests than letters later on the list.

    Studies also show that sometimes women have positive reactions to usernames that show success and intelligence while men are attracted to usernames that imply physical attraction or cuteness.

    Bonus Tip

    As mentioned earlier in this post, grammar is important.

    People want to see that you are educated. But not only that, it shows that you cared enough to take the time to properly write your online dating profile with accuracy.

    However, don’t get overzealous with your punctuation. Here are a few pointers to remember when writing your profile:

    • Don’t get too wordy – cut out unnecessary words.
    • Don’t use long-winded adjectives.
    • Keep punctuation simple.
    • Avoid excessive exclamation marks. If you must use one, just use one.
    • Don’t overuse emojis. A smiley might be cute in the right place but don’t cross the line into cheesy.

    Of course, don’t be so afraid of making a mistake that you come across dry. Always be yourself. It’s OK to show off your best side and dress to impress.

    We hope these tips on how to write an online dating profile have helped give you a boost of confidence and eventually lead to the love of your life. Good luck!

Claire Bahn


Claire Bahn is the CEO and Co-Founder of Online Profile Pros (OPP). She founded OPP to help individuals build, maintain and protect their personal brand to help them get the jobs, promotions and dates they desire. She has 15 years experience in branding, public relations and event marketing at start-ups as well as large Fortune 500 companies like Rueters and SAP. Claire has been featured in Forbes, Entrepreneur magazines among others. Online Profile Pros helps executives, entrepreneurs & influencers strategize and create their best personal brand.


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