Body language provides a minute-by-minute score card that tells you how your date is going. A crossed knee, the tilt of the head or a hand gesture can tell you volumes about what your date is really thinking. Learning to read those telling glances and shifting hips can open up new dating opportunities. Who hasn’t missed out on a potentially great date by failing to correctly decipher someone’s stolen glances?
- Darting glances. Taking a quick look then immediately looking away is a protection mechanism that indicates insecurity. By refusing to commit to a good, long look, the “glancer” shows interest while protecting him or herself from rejection if their interest is not returned. Someone who repeatedly glances your way is indicating interest, but you’ll have to make the first move.
- Looking away. Unless your date is scoping out the competition (in which case, the evening’s already a lost cause), looking away during a conversation doesn’t show lack of interest. People commonly look up, down or off to the side when they’re trying to remember something. During conversation, looking away removes foreground distractions, allowing the individual to concentrate more fully on memory retrieval. Once the memory is retrieved, your date’s gaze will refocus on you. Interestingly, people look toward their ear when trying to recall a sound and look down when remembering emotional events.
- Looking down. Looking down at the feet is the classic pose used by cartoonists to convey a meek or bashful individual. It’s a submissive pose that elicits protective feelings and indicates a lack of self-assurance. Submissive dates transfer full responsibility for the date’s success onto their partner’s shoulders. You’ll have to take charge, but be careful not to come off as overbearing or you’ll frighten away a meek date. Treat a meek date with tender loving care to put your date at ease and win his or her confidence.
Your face is the most expressive part of your body and the feature that attracts online daters.