When you’re young, a school or college environment makes it easy to meet new people for friendships and relationships alike. One aspect of adulthood no one prepares you for, though, is how much this changes in your 20s. Once you have graduated from school and are on your own, creating new relationships is harder than it used to be. This is doubly true when you are looking to find it, right? How do you sort through all the single people and find someone who can genuinely connect with you on a deep, human-to-human basis? It is so complicated and tricky that it may be enough to have you throw your hands in the air and just give up.
That’s why more and more people are using their computers to meet new dates instead. In fact, nearly 1 in 5 engaged or recently married couples met online last year. What was once taboo only a decade ago has now become commonplace: people are finding their one true mates online in record numbers. In fact, the online dating industry is now worth more than $3 billion. That is a huge number and proves that more people look for love online than they do in person.
You don’t have to sign up for every dating site around, either. While many have found strong romantic bonds with people via sites like OkCupid, Match.com, and Plenty Of Fish, there are more options now, including some coming from unlikely places you might not first think of. Social networks like Facebook are great ways to meet dates and spark romances. It’s true, the site you use to keep up with old classmates and family is the same one you can use to find your new boyfriend or girlfriend.
In fact, Facebook has launched its very own section dedicated solely to dating. That’s right, Facebook Dating is a thing and appears on the main site and the mobile app. It is a match-making tool that suggests matches for you based on preferences you express, along with interests and activity on your normal profile.
The creation of Facebook Dating shows that Facebook is aware of how many people use their platform to find love. However, our list today isn’t related to the proper Facebook Dating section of the site. Instead, our compilation is all about meeting a new boyfriend or girlfriend through the traditional side of the site. Yes, you really can find a new partner with your regular old Facebook profile.
But there’s a right way and a wrong way to find romance on Facebook. If you do it correctly, you can finally find someone to settle down with. Do it incorrectly and you will be wasting your time and energy. It is a fine line you must walk and there are pointers that can greatly assist you in your search. That’s why our experts have put together some tips on how to date on Facebook.
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10 Easy Facebook Dating Tips to Get Started Now:
As we said, you need to do this the right way. Just jumping into Facebook dating without forethought will end in complete disaster. Successfully dating on Facebook takes some prep work, and these tips can help you get started the right way.
The most important tip we can offer you relates to finding love on Facebook or any other run-of-the-mill dating app: don’t give up. Finding a partner can be hard even when you meet in person. While creating a relationship online first can lead to something really special and loving, However, there can be roadblocks and failures that will make you want to stop trying. However, you have to stick with it. Stick with and be yourself and at some point, someone will find you and give you the affection and love you deserve.
But to get to that point, you need to follow these steps.
1. Update Your Profile Often
If you haven’t updated your Facebook profile since 2012, chances are that it’s no longer a reflection of your personal brand. Things can change a lot in a few months, let alone a few years. You need to update your profile and make sure it is the current version of you.
Keeping your town of residence, occupation, interests, and other categories up to date can help potential dates recognize that you have common interests. Give a clear and informed description of the person you are. Do not exaggerate or over-inflate yourself either, be honest because lying about yourself will only hurt you in the long run.
Far too often, people try to make themselves out to be someone they are not. Be honest about your job, your interests, your favorite movies and books, and hobbies so that anyone who may think about going out with you knows exactly who and what to expect. A clear look at who you are is a great start to creating a Facebook profile that will take you far in the dating world.
Remember, there are over 2.8 billion Facebook users on Earth, which gives everyone so many options if they are looking to find a new boyfriend or girlfriend. So creating an accurate and exciting profile will help you stand out a bit more among a massive amount of competition.
2. Make Your Profile Photo an Eye-Catcher- One of the most important Facebook Dating Tips.
Sure, your photo is technically part of your profile, but this is so important that it deserves its own spot on the list. While your profile says a lot about you, the first things people see on Facebook are your name and your photo.
Your online profile photo should be flattering and should show off your style. Above all, though, it needs to be accurate. You might get more dates with a picture from 20 years ago, but those dates probably won’t lead to a relationship because you started it with dishonesty. You don’t want to start dating someone under false pretenses, right? Keep that in mind when choosing your profile picture.
This is something that happens all the time, people will post a picture that looks great but isn’t accurate. A high school photo when you’re in your forties just isn’t valid and is basically lying. Remember, you are not creating an idea of yourself, you are trying to create an honest depiction of the real you.
A professional profile photographer can produce a picture that’s flattering to the way you honestly look. However, if you do not want to pay for that, find a photo that gives an accurate look at you. Even better, post a profile photo that shows you partaking in one of your favorite hobbies just to prove that you really are the person you make yourself out to be. Got any great photos of you parasailing or playing soccer? You might want that to be the picture you share with the world and any possible dates.
3. Take Advantage of the Digital Divide
One of the most intimidating parts of dating in person is the fear of saying the wrong thing. Sometimes words just come out incorrectly. That is a common problem that everyone suffers from. How often have you walked away from a date saying “I wish I wouldn’t have said that”?
In online dating, on the other hand, you have the advantage of being able to think before you send a message. Take as much time as you need to re-read it, think about how it will sound from his/her perspective, and correct it if necessary.
One of the best tricks when writing a message to a prospective date is to speak it out loud before you send it. How does it sound: casual? Forced? Clunky? Is this something you would say if you were speaking with him or her face-to-face?
Just like the profile information and photo, you want your messages to feel authentic and like something you would honestly say. If things go well, you will eventually be having an in-person conversation with your online connections. So if you are speaking in a manner that isn’t accurate to you, it will only hurt you in the long run.
4. Join Groups
Look for Facebook groups that speak to your interests, like a group dedicated to a particular type of music or a group for hikers. This is a great way to meet people who already share your interests, paving the way for a fun and lasting relationship.
There are millions and millions of groups on Facebook so there is no excuse to not find one tailor-made for you. In fact, the latest data states that Facebook has over 620 million different groups that you can join. If you are a movie fan, a baker, a non-fiction fan, or an avid cross-fit fan you will find someplace for you. There truly is something for everyone.
Joining a Facebook group will lead to lots of great conversations and enhanced interest in your topic of choice. But it could also lead to some connections with others. These connections may be platonic or they may be romantic. Best of all, if you do find someone to grow close with via one of these Facebook groups, you will be certain that you share at least one interest with them.
If you want to date someone you share hobbies with, finding them through Facebook groups is a great way to start a new relationship. Just make sure you join some groups that really interest you.
5. Check Out “People You May Know”
Facebook’s “People You May Know” feature can be your best friend when it comes to online dating. Some people are uncomfortable when they get a friend request from someone they have no connection to, so if you have a mutual friend, it’s a great conversational gateway.
As a bonus, you can ask your mutual friend about the person you’re interested in before you actually send him/her a friend request.
The mutual friend can tell you, first of all, if you’re interested in a real person (we’ve all heard or even experienced a “catfishing” story). They can also tell you a bit about the person you’re interested in, and give you their opinion about why it may or may not be a good match.
You have to tread lightly here because if you try to make a connection with someone you don’t specifically know, they may be a bit cautious. That is a good thing, you also wouldn’t blindly become Facebook friends with anyone just because you have a mutual friend.
If you decide to send a friend request to someone new, perhaps send a short and friendly message that starts with a casual introduction about how you had heard great things about them from your mutual friend. Do not just send a message and then sit in silence because that can come across downright weird.
6. Get to Know His/Her Profile, But With Caution
Just like the tips above led you to put thought into your Facebook profile, the person you’re interested in has probably done the same. Check out the profile to get to know him/her better and to find out if you have common interests and compatibility.
However, it’s easy to take this too far. If you find yourself scrolling through status updates from eight years ago and every comment he/she has posted since then, you need to take a step back. It is important to keep in mind that people change and aren’t the same from just a year or two ago. You wouldn’t want someone judging you based on your posts, likes, and comments from years past. The only version of you that truly matters more than others is the current one. The same is true for anyone you are trying to date on Facebook.
Keep in mind that while someone’s Facebook profile is hopefully an accurate representation of them, there is a good chance that the person may have spruced themselves up a little bit. They might make their personalities, career, and even appearance a bit better than they are in reality. Hopefully, they have followed the rules we already set forth and haven’t embellished themselves too much. But remember that what you see on Facebook may not be the exact same person you see face-to-face.
7. Catch Up with People from Your Past
Sometimes the best people to date are people you’ve already known in the past. Think back on past flames that fizzled out or just friends and acquaintances in whom you saw potential.
Years can go by from when you last saw these people and present-day and a lot can change in that time. People you had no interest in before may catch your eye and people who once didn’t give you the time of day may be gaga about you now. Things really do change.
Strike up conversations and friendships with these folks from your past and see if anything clicks. Do not go into each conversation looking for romance, though. Take it slow and have casual and fun chats and see where it leads. The best relationships start organically and without the rush.
The best-case scenario may have you finding new love. Worst case scenario, you once again get close with people from years past. Either way, connecting with old friends is a good idea. It is really one of the main things that Facebook was created for.
Remember, when you’re approaching someone you haven’t seen in a long time, that social media profile photo is even more critical. Again, proceed with caution and keep your expectations in check because, honestly, few people look as good as they did back in high school.
8. Remember That Your Posts are Public
This sounds simple, but it happens more often than you’d think. People indulge in the unfortunate world of Facebook insult battles, then wonder why they can’t find dates online.
Before you post anything, ask yourself, “Is this something I’d say in front of a person I wanted to date?” In reality, potential dates can see what you’ve posted, so pause to think about how your post could affect your image.
This isn’t to say you shouldn’t feel free to be yourself, but you should strive to be the best version of yourself you can be, and that means keeping compassion in your words. People often compare Facebook to a high school reunion and that is a great way to think of it. While you want to be yourself at a high school reunion, you also want to be polite and mind your manners. Do not ruin everyone’s time by being obnoxious and rude. That achieves nothing aside from turning people off to you.
Also, remember that certain tones and ideas do not get across well via text. You may think that you are making a great and sarcastic point but it may just come across as rude when typed out on Facebook. A lot of nuance and subtlety is lost when you’re online. So whenever you post something on Facebook, be very positive that the point of your comments is coming across well. Otherwise, you may just seem like an out-of-touch jerk.
9. Use Facebook As a Post-Date Follow-Up
Facebook has far more uses in the dating world than an initial meet-up. It can also be a casual and fun way to keep in touch between dates. For example, the day or two after your date, send him/her a message about what a great time you had.
Make any message you send brief and playful, never too serious or intense. That will only make your date second-guess their time out with you and could spell certain doom for a second date. Also, one message is enough. If the person receives it and doesn’t respond, you should accept that maybe they don’t want to see you anymore and just move on.
A day or two after your first date is not the time to post any photos from your night out or tag your date in posts. That may be too aggressive and could turn off your date to any further dates. Tread lightly and gently here and mind your manners. Remember that you are still getting to know someone in those early dating days and you do not want to lay it on too thick.
10. Make it “Facebook Official”
Everyone talks about the negative effect social media has had on personal communication, but did you know Facebook can help your relationship?
After you’ve been dating for some time and you’re ready to add a layer of commitment, making the relationship “Facebook official” can be the perfect next step. Just make sure you’re both on the same page about it first.
It may sound kind of silly but this is a rather big step in modern-day romances. Once both of you are ready to take that leap, you should both change your statuses to “In A Relationship” and let the world know you are seeing one another.
Your boyfriend or girlfriend should be prepared for other friends and family members to introduce themselves. They may come out of the woodwork and like, comment, and even send friend requests of their own. Make sure your new partner is comfortable with that and ready to possibly make a few new friends they haven’t ever formally met.
Making things Facebook Official is one of the ultimate signs that things are moving forward seriously. Once that has been done, you can feel comfortable posting pictures and tagging your new boyfriend or girlfriend on your profile. The world will now be aware of your new relationship status and you can bet you will soon be seeing messages of congratulations.
Facebook Dating: Online Dating in the Social Media Era
As popular as dedicated online dating sites are, people are already spending massive amounts of time on social media, so this can be a perfect dating tool. From mastering your profile picture to following up after a date, the tips above can help you make the most of technology in your search for The One.
For more dating tips and how to make all of your online profiles reflect your personality, check out our professional profile photoblog. If you’re looking for professional pictures for your online profile, be sure to book our dating profile services today